The bottom line: Solid, insightful and actionable advice aimed at healing and helping.
Whether you are in a marriage where adultery has happened or counseling a couple with an adulterer, there are some fundamental questions that deserve a meaningful answer. Such questions include, “How could this happen?” “Why did this happen?” and “Where do we go from here?” Addicted to Adultery equips you with clear answers to these questions and then provides a roadmap to assist those impacted by adultery. Dr. Weiss draws this map with a particular emphasis on healing a broken person and a broken relationship.
The book begins by describing the biological mechanisms at play that facilitate adultery while never wavering from individual responsibility (this is a fact repeatedly emphasized throughout the book). It then details “prototypes” or the different objects of affection for cheaters. The book then goes on to talk about different “types” of cheating hearts, the process of grieving, and the six types of sexual addicts. There are also chapters on abuse and abandonment. The book ends by providing resources and suggestions for those who seek more intensive assistance whether in the form of books, DVDs, a telephone call, or face-to-face interactions. What Weiss consequently does remarkably well is “zoom out” so that you have a sense not only of the acute problem but all the other variables that influenced it in the past and present so that a person may chart a well-informed path toward a healthy future.
The only reason why I gave the book less than five stars is that after reading the entire text, you are left with the overall impression that Addicted to Adultery is at least in part a marketing tool for you to purchase more of Dr. Weiss’s books or to enroll in a personal counseling session. This doesn’t take away from the value of the content already in the book, but it does leave the reader with the sense that more comprehensive information and healing strategies only exist in other paid resources.
In my mind, the greatest benefit from this book is its wide range of applicability. If you are the offending spouse in an adulterous relationship, it will enable you to become more self-aware, clarify specific deficiencies that require growth, and guide you toward other outlets to assist you in repairing yourself and your relationship. If you are the offended spouse, it will open your eyes to the unique variables that persuade the cheating heart so that you will have a clear idea on how to assist in restoration. If you are a non-professional friend, accountability partner or church leader, Addicted to Adultery will equip you with some basic tools to assist, comfort and direct those under your care.